Charlie Gibson will be the first reporter logging official face time with Sarah Palin since her nomination as Republican VP only thirteen days ago. What could they possibly have to talk about?

Luckily, upstanding citizen that he is, JackShaf moved on from his all-important campaign of boycotting the DNC to compile a list of questions Charlie Gibson should ask Sarah Palin at the undisclosed time of the interview.

Unfortunately, Shafer's list reads like a duplicate of the Anchorage Daily News itemization of questions that the publication never received Palin's answer on. Blah blah Senator Ted Stevens accepted bribes, do you still support hi*sssnooooze*.

So what are some fun but totally not-happening questions that Gibson could use to spice up the interview?

1. Which animal-in-lipstick analogy do you most relate to, and why?

2. How do you plan to use the money if you win this pageant?

3. Would you bone your running mate if there was a time machine to take you back to a time when he looked like this?

4. Don't you wish you could use that same time machine from question three to give Levi Johnston a vasectomy five months ago?

5. How do you think Britney did at the VMAs this year?

6. Speak any Russian, governor? Kak eto nazyvayetsya po-russki "abortion?"

7. Is Meghan McCain a little snot or what?

8. Which members of the Republican party are secretly gay? For real.

9. How does it feel to track a wolf on a plane until it tires from exhaustion and then get out of your plane and shoot it in the face? Makes you feel like a real woman?

10. Oh and governor? Love the suit.