When was the last time you were forced to read a bad pun in the Page Six regarding oil billion-heir (see?) Brandon Davis, and the amount shiny grease in his hair? Get it, because he's got oil money, and his hair is oily. Oy vey.

You might not be so happy at first to see Davis' name in print: he's pretty much disappeared after calling Lindsay Lohan a fire-crotch, but then you realize that he's only being mentioned because of his recent string of bad luck and insane debt, and your Monday just started out a little better, right?

Two months ago the story was about how Davis stole another free-floating heir's credit card and maxed it out after his family cut him off. Since then he's become a "professional couch surfer," but his love of gambling and nose candy apparently don't make the best combo, and his most recent claim to fame involved getting himself kicked out of a famous underground (oxymoron?) West Hollywood casino.

"He would consistently show up behaving erratically and make lengthy trips to the bathroom," says the source, an investment banker who's a regular patron of the gambling den where the minimum buy-in is $5,000. "Finally, management told him he was no longer welcome."

And while it's easy to laugh at Davis, you also have to marvel at his ingenuity at fucking up at being a professional heir. It's not like Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie are any smarter than he is, and yet they've somehow managed to parlay their parent's millions into even more millions. Hell, even Balthazar Getty was able to land Sienna Miller.

How hard can it be to be a billionaire these days without turning your life into a trainwreck?