This is not the logo for the new Epix premium network. But it might as well be.

JOSSIP IN-DEPTH — The new premium cable channel launching against HBO and Cinemax (both owned by Time Warner) and Showtime (a CBS unit) is around the corner, and getting all the necessaries out of the way, it's finally picked a name. The Viacom-MGM-Lionsgate team up will be called Epix, written in all lowecase, so really it's "epix." Know what Epix sounds like? Epic. Like the epic clusterfuck the pay TV world is about to enter.

First, let's start with Epix's problems. There's the issue of branding. While we're actually pretty impressed with the name — it communicates both "epic" and "pix," as in "movie pictures" — "Epix" has already been snagged by other companies, making it less than unique. There's already an Epix Pharmaceuticals. And EPIX Inc., a camera and software company, already owns EpixTV.com. (Epix.name and Epix.jobs are still available! And Epix.mobi is for sale!) Then again, we're confident 99.99999987 percent of Americans don't yet associate the name "Epix" with either of these two companies, and given that Viacom's MTV unit is going to handle marketing, you can be sure that when this baby launches in fall 2009, every household will be as familiar with it as they are Lauren and Whitney.

But what about the whole pay TV market in general? Well, there's some good news! Despite the utter collapse of America's economy, CBS's Showtime is showing an increase in subscribers; 1.1 million new signups this year, an increase of 7 percent over 2007, for a new cum of 16.5 million paying households. (It's the fifth straight year of growth, says the LAT.) And Showtime, no stranger to the gays (The L Word, Queer As Folk, Dexter), knows its market so well they've got a gay superhero series in the works, so expect even more new subscribers.

Which means that even with homes going into foreclosure and new auto sales in rapid decline, Americans are still willing to shell out their dwindling or non-existent paychecks to watch Mary Louise Parker sip Diet Coke while Hunter Parrish munches cougar carpet. That's promising for Epix, since they're going to have plenty of up front costs: marketing, development, lobbying cable operators to give 'em space on the dial.

But all is not rosy for Epix. Keep in mind, this sixth entrant into pay TV — behind HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, Starz, Encore, and The Movie Channel — was also the cause, or effect, of a brutal break down in relationships between Showtime chief Matthew Blank and CBS chief Les Moonves, which, while both controlled by Sumner Redstone, have been at odds with each other since splitting off in December 2005.

Viacom, which in addition to MTV and Comedy Central owns the movie studio Paramount, opted to stop feeding CBS/Showtime any movies from its library, all because the premium network refused to pay more to license each film. CBS/Showtime, in fact, wanted to start paying less. Instead of gathering around a conference table back in April to work things out, Viacom/Paramount decided to go on its merry way, join hands with MGM and Lionsgate, and launch its own affair, now known as Epix.

Which means Epix has access to the libraries of Paramount, MGM, and Lionsgate, and CBS/Showtime doesn't. Ouch.

Score one for Epix, right? Well, not exactly.

The reason networks like Showtime are doing so well right now isn't because of how many times they repeat The Day After Tomorrow and You've Got Mail, but because of the excellent, uncensored/swear-and-sex-filled original programming they offer. Showtime has, undoubtedly, the best slate in this arena: Dexter, Weeds, The L Word, The Tudors, Brotherhood, and Californication. High brow original series used to be the territory of HBO, but since losing The Sopranos, Sex and the City, and Six Feet Under, they've been dead in the water with duds like John From Cincinatti and Tell Me You Love Me. (Entourage and Big Love remain decent successes, but even renewed True Blood isn't scaring up ratings.)

And this is where Epix will really need to compete to amp up subscriptions. Relying on what Blockbuster has in stock to convince Americans to pay another $14.99/month for Epix isn't just a tough sell — it's an impossible sell. Which means if Epix doesn't create some groundbreaking original programming to brand the new channel as a home for the titillating content Showtime is known for, it's a goner.