Welp, you couldn't expect the ravaged black hole that is Madonna's ego to be still just because her very public separation from husband Guy Ritchie and her very public relationship with Alex Rodriguez (who also just separated from his wife Cynthia) is dwindling off a bit, could you?

Madonna's newest tactic for remaining in the spotlight until she's 85? Leaking rumors that she's hooking up with a Portuguese model. A Portuguese model named Jesus. God, where was he when she was shooting the Like a Prayer video?

Says a source:

"Everyone knows they are ficando - which is a Portuguese expression that means they are kissing and doing other things but without any obligation of being faithful or getting into a relationship afterwards."

And God, poor Liz Rosenberg, still having to make up some excuse for her client days after Madonna called her publicist a liar, is saying she's "still waiting to hear about Jesus," which has a double meaning when you consider that after working for Madonna, turning over a new leaf and becoming born-again doesn't sound like that bad of an idea.