Now that Fox's oddest couple split up and Alan Colmes has moved on to greener pastures (oops, nevermind, he's staying at FNC), we wondered: Who or what might now co-host Sean Hannity's show and serve as more than a liberal punching bag?

Roger Ebert
This is a man that's never been the same since his television partner, Gene Siskel, died back in 1999, and recently has turned his two thumbs to blogging about politics. Ebert's also an amazing satirist, got a wicked tongue and is disdainful of all conservatives. Once he starts in on his facetious "the world was created 5000 years ago" rant, Hannity won't know what hit him.

Wanda Sykes
Sean Hannity has not had much luck with the homosexual community ever since his 1989 radio show on KCSB where he told a lesbian caller that he felt sorry for her child. The man also looooves to give airtime to white supremacists who threaten to firebomb "savage Negroes." So a perfect ying to Hannity's yang? Funny, sharp, newly out Wanda Sykes, who would certainly do a better job than that pushover Colmes when it came to debating the finer points of race and sexuality.

A video loop of Kanye at the 2005 NBC Hurricane Katrina Telethon
Hannity will argue with this video for hours like a dog that doesn't realize he's barking into a mirror; it will be the best television Fox News has ever seen. Although the dialogue might have to be dubbed to maintain its relevance, "George Bush still doesn't care about black people."

Old people
Hannity's primetime soapbox is watched by all those people who make Fox News the number one rated network in cable news. Do you know what that viewership is composed of? Old people. Old people who still listen to the radio and thus pay for Sean Hannity's lucrative $20 million Clear Channel deal. Old people like your grandparents who still forward you emails that alert you to the fact that Barack's middle name is "Hussein." God love Nana and Pop-pop, but if Sean Hannity had his way, his perfect co-hosts would be gullible, scared old people who wouldn't put up much of an argument against Obama's proposed tax cuts when he tells them that the black man plans to take away their social security.

A liberal parrot and/or baby
In case Hannity ever gets wise to the looping Kanye co-host, may we suggest one of the various pro-Obama parrots or babies? Their rhetoric is as least as eloquent as Hannity's, and we think those two subgroups really get the message across without all those fancy, elitists "words." Just straight up Yes We Can: Bitch can't argue with that. (Yes he could.)