Hey, all good Americans, while you were busy thinking about what Michelle Obama should wear on Inauguration Day, the world's governments were doing their part to make 2009 look a little more like 1984. Hope you've got a lawyer in the family!

Olympic Shames

Our friends the Chinese – who now boast the third largest economy in the world. Auf Wiedersehen, Germany – last week sentenced a 58-year-old man to three years in prison for requesting to protest this summer. Ji Sizun foolishly believed the Chinese government when it said that as long as citizens applied, they would be allowed to stage protests in front of the international press gathered for the Olympic games. Of course, when people actually made formal requests for the oxymoronic protest licenses, they were summarily arrested or outright ignored.

What a terrible, immoral and brutal regime the Chinese government is. But, y'know, they're getting really rich over there, so let's ignore their iron-fisted cruelty and exchange goods and services with them for monies:

"America's constructive relationship with China is vitally important to our economic health," [US-China Business Council] Chairman Andrew Liveris said. Liveris, chairman and CEO of The Dow Chemical Company, continued, "USCBC and its nearly 250 companies are in a unique position to promote the real-world, positive perspective on engagement with China, demonstrating the day-to-day value that Americans derive from this critical and mutually beneficial relationship."

You, like us, probably use so many Dow products it's disgusting, so don't think you don't have a hand in what's happening to people in China. How's that for globalization?

Unlawful Arrests Just Got a Little More Lawful

Meanwhile in America, your and my Supreme Court, a kangaroo operation full of bigots and the infirmed, was making it easier for cops to arrest hapless poor people.

The Supreme Court ruled Wednesday that evidence obtained from an unlawful arrest based on careless record keeping by the police may be used against a criminal defendant.
…
The case began when methamphetamines and a gun were found after Bennie D. Herring, an Alabama man, was arrested based on police officers’ mistaken belief that he was subject to an outstanding arrest warrant.

That belief was based on incorrect information in the computer files of a neighboring county’s police department. The warrant had been withdrawn, but the database had not been updated.

Oh, boy! See you in a dozen or so years, Bennie.

In case you're keeping score, while ol' Bad Luck Bennie Herring rots in jail, Bernie Madoff is cold chillin' in his Manhattan penthouse right now. Sure, he may have viciously stolen $50 billion and ruined countless people's financial futures, but at least he didn't use METH!!!!!!!!!

We Hear You!!!!!!!!!

You agoraphobes didn't think you were getting off scot-free, did you? Never! All your privacy are belong to the government, regardless of whether you don't even leave the confines of your own sad, little, soon-to-be foreclosed home.

Get this shit: a SECRET FEDERAL COURT has ruled that telecom companies must cooperate with government agencies in order to intercept the phone calls and e-mails of people suspected to be terrorists. Ha ha ha! This is not a joke, but: ha ha ha ha! The New York Times is calling this a "rare public ruling," meaning some legislation in your country happens without you ever knowing about it, because your government doesn't trust you. God bless the land of the fucking free!