What's up guys? Did you all have an exciting Obamania-filled week? Us too! In fact, we were so busy with the inaugural bliss that we didn't have time to write up all the stories we were preparing about very important topics like terrorism and 9/11 conspiracy theories. Relevant! We give you our top five stories that just didn't make the cut, after the jump.

Did you Know Barack Obama's Middle Name is Hussein??

And other disturbing facts about our new president. Did you know that he flubbed the swearing-in on progress? Did you know that he didn't put his hand on the bible? Didn't anyone realize that this dude is black??

If You Seek Os-amy???

Are the lyrics to Britney Spears' new hit actually a secret code that tells you the exact location of Osama bin Laden? We're pretty sure they are, and we think they give you an in-depth explanation for why Gitmo needs to be reopened, specifically because it's a good place to send Spears.

Our Top 10 Spoilers For Lost

Answers 1-5: It's all been Locke/Sawyer/Shephard/Ben Linus/ABC's dream. Also, Hurley dies and the Smoke Monster reveals that she's actually a he. No one gets off back on the island and nothing makes sense for the rest of the season. Also, it turns out the island is just one big al-Qaeda prisoner facility.

Anthrax Attacks: Out of Style, or Totally Retro?

These past two weeks have seen a resurgence in MSM organizations being sent envelopes of white powder. We say: It's 2001 all over again, but is it too soon to be kitschy over something from this decade? Shouldn't these potential flour-bombers think of some new faux-biological weapon to send Laura Ingraham?

Geese: The Terror in the Air

We know about their sabotage to the U.S. Airways plane that crashed into the Hudson River, but did you know the extent of their involvement in 9/11? We infiltrate the secret training camp of fundamentalist birds and reveal secrets you didn't want to know about the winged threats.