Obama's been president for a whole week now, and things still suck! We're not hoping for miracles (except we sort of were) but little by little, we feel ourselves slowly backsliding into the snarky disdain we've had for all authority since Mrs. Scheibel grounded us in homeroom. Unfortunately, questioning anything about our new administration immediately aligns us with conservatives and their anti-everything rhetoric, which is even more unappealing than sipping the Obama Kool-Aid. Still, we can't help but feel a little bit…empathic, maybe, towards those Republican blowhards we spent the last eight years railing against. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.
| Why We Should Hate Them | Why We Can't | |
 Glenn Beck |
When Glenn Beck moved from CNN to Fox News, it seemed only natural. After all, this guy fit all the criteria for FNC: He had million dollar radio contract, he was bull-headed and angry at all liberals and his smugness shone from every TV set he blessed with his visage. Couple that with the incoherent self-righteousness of a drugged-up ex-drug addict, and you've got yourself the poor man's Limbaugh. | When we finally got around to watching Beck's program, we saw the angry, smug facade break for just a moment and show us a scared, loving father behind the wall. Did the waterworks work? Sure, and they were manipulative as hell: But no one can doubt the sincerity of a man worried about his special-needs child, that's why it works so well! And even previous Beck-haters are now proclaiming him to be the future of Fox News. Whatever, as long as it bumps down O'Reilly. |
 Sarah Palin |
By the time this family of grifters exited the national program, we had had more than enough of this Wasilla spinoff of the Beverly Hillbillies and wondering whose spawn belonged to whom. The realization that Palin and her gee-shucks persona had cost the GOP $150k in new clothing for her and her kin was just icing on the cake. | Although Palin is trying her darn-tootingest to keep herself in the public eye (so she deserves whatever is coming her way), we can't stand the way news outlets like The Huffington Post are still trying to capitalize on ClothingGate, despite the evidence that Palin has, in fact, returned the clothes to GOP headquarters. Plus, her kid just had a kid and all anyone can talk about is how the future mother-in-law is an OxyContin pusher. Even if you don't feel bad for Sarah, the shame radiating out from everyone she touches has to pull on your heartstrings, in a Gummo kind of way. |
 Rupert Murdoch |
The media baron who owns The Post, FNC and MySpace under his News Corp. umbrella always provided an easy target for liberal ire. Combine that with the Aussie's Charles Kane-like disposition towards seclusion, and you'd be hard pressed to find a better real-life Mr. Burns. | Maybe it was in November, when it came out that Murdoch wasn't half as conservative as his own publications are. Or maybe we enjoyed watching the way he jerked around liberal but unlikeable Michael Wolff while the latter was writing the former's biography for a year. Or maybe we just find it adorable that the old man has no idea how to work the Internet. Whatever the reason, it's hard to feel threatened by a guy whose has a 37-years younger Asian wife owning his ass. |
 Matt Drudge |
The 2004 election media cycle was owned so hard by Matt Drudge and his Drudge Report — which managed to smear Kerry so bad with all that Swiftboating — some claim he was decisive influence in getting Bush elected for a second term. For the past four years Drudge has continued an assault on our eyeballs with his blog, which sensationalizes every tidbit of half-truths and outright lies to prove the Democrats are, at best, incompetent, at worst, terrorist-loving America-haters who allowed a Muslim sympathizer into the White House. | Now that The Huffington Post out-Drudged Drudge, what's left to feel for the little blog that should, except pity? Drudge doesn't have control of the news cycle anymore: he reports on the MSM, instead of dictating it. The loss of power has lead to a couple musings that Drudge will regain his strength when America gets sick of Obama-mania, but for right now we've erased Drudge from our bookmarks. It's just sort of embarrassing now. |
 Andrew Sullivan |
There was a time when Andrew Sullivan posed a particularly dangerous threat to liberals: He was a gay Libertarian writer, and a smart one to boot. He didn't fit into the paradigm of what conservatives ought to be or say, thus, it was particularly hard to nail him into a niche and disregard his commentary over at The Atlantic. | His plan worked too well: No matter how much Sullivan rails against the Democrats, Forbes is still going to place him in "Top 25 Most Influential Liberals in the U.S. Media." Ouch. He is currently licking his wounds by writing navel-gazing blogs like this, and we give it three months until he becomes a managing editor over at Gawker. |
 George W. |
Let's see, where to begin? Won the 2000 election through underhanded cheating, ruined America's standing with 90 percent of the free world, promoted laissez-faire regulations on Wall Street which lead directly to the subprime mortgage crisis, got the country into a war it can no longer leave from…should we go on? | What can we say? It was almost as if the exact moment last week, noon on the 20th, that Bush stopped being a figure of America's vehement hatred and more just some silly old kook. This must have been how liberals felt when Reagan left office. Even the Times seemed to relax and treat Bush's bye-bye with more humor than vitriol. Now that he can't hurt us anymore, let's embrace our Texan, golf-loving ex-prez. Or not. |
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Sorry, Andrew Sullivan doesn't have a "Libertarian" bone in his body. Where in the hell did you get the impression that he was a Libertarian? He's anti-Free Enterprise, anti-War on Islamo-Fascism, and Pro-Nanny State. That's the precise definition of an Anti-Libertarian.
Sarah Palin is much closer to our libertarian views than ultra-liberal Facsist Obama lover Andrew Sullivan. At least Palin has attended a few Libertarian Party meetings. Sullivan, only meetings of Fascist Moveon.org.
Drudge irrelevant? Get your Jossip head out of your ass. You are overcome by your wishful thinking. Drudge still rules.
What do you mean Drudge is a blog?? Where can I post on this "blog"? It's not like Huffypost. Drudge is just a clearinghouse for editorial sources. You can go most anywhere in the world for news just by logging on to Drudge. He just spotlights what's out there, whether mainstream sources are trying to cover it up or not. He did not create "Swiftboat", by the way; he merely channeled at, at worst. You give the guy too much credit.
Drudge is about as relevant as Cuba Gooding Jr.
@Eric Dondero: Newsflash, Libertarians are anti-war.