Is it just us or has there been a lot of unsavory behavior lately; perhaps not more than usual, but at least more than usual in the news? Octomoms and steroids and Aussie arson, oh my! We're sure the TV tabloid-viewing Dorito connoisseurs are enjoying every moment of it, but delighting in the insanity even more must be the American sideshow's old guard, that previous generation of oddballs who can now sprint backwards out of the limelight while they still have their chance. The new punchlines are here (at least for the next five minutes).

The new punchline: Nadya Suleman

The displaced: Angelina Jolie

Now that Octomom and her – and we say this with the utmost respect for women and and the miracle of childbirth – FUCKING FOUL distended belly are on the scene, bringing the total number of people in the Suleman clan up to 15 (not counting the voices in Nadya's head), it can go one of two ways for Angelina Jolie: Either she will be completely overshadowed by Suleman and everyone will stop talking about how weird it is that she and Brad collect babies like Hummels, or everyone will use Suleman as evidence that women like her and Jolie, who collect babies like Hummels, are insane.

The new punchline: Alex Rodriguez

The displaced: Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, José Canseco, Rafael Palmeiro…

Save for the naive fans blinded by faith, people had known for years that these jacked-up silverbacks with bone-in hams for forearms were taking steroids. Even their bosses, the league executives, knew it. The question isn't why would they juice, it's why wouldn't they? If the MLB was allowing players to use performance enhancing drugs, wouldn't NOT taking steroids be sort of a stupid way to fall behind the competition? It was no surprise in 2005 when José Canseco admitted to doing steroids in the past and then tried to be a whistleblower on the league. Unfortunately, he was already retired and quickly painted as an aged, attention-whoring liar when he named names of former teammates who allegedly used, too. The reason Alex Rodriguez is the new go-to punchline for steroid jokes is because he's still a successful star Yankee and relatively respectable (despite that whole Madonna debacle). Not anymore.

The new punchline: Chris Brown

The displaced: Ike Turner

Despite his horrible personal life, Ike Turner's music was really, really good, so it's unfortunate that there's an entire generation of kids growing up with no idea who he is. However, following his disappearance from the cultural landscape (and the living world), there was a brief period of glory when young people really had no go-to celebrity domestic abuser to use as a punchline in tasteless jokes. But then Chris Brown had to go and allegedly rough up Rihanna. Mr. Turner is officially no more. Much to the delight, we're sure, of Tina.

The new punchline: Ted Haggard

The displaced: Lots and lots of Catholic priests

Ted Haggard is part laughable idiot and part sad man, and he has indeed become a new scapegoat for people looking to rail on hypocrisy in the church. That said, we hate to conflate what Haggard did – had consensual sex with a man – with what child-molesting priests do. Perhaps Haggard is his own separate punchline altogether. In which case, we doubt his successor is far behind. Our money's on that kooky Kirk Cameron (WHOSE WEB SITE PLAYS THE THEM FROM GROWING PAINS!).