When people talk about the death of the print industry, they are usually referring to the demise of either magazines or newspapers. Left by the wayside are the figures in the book publishing world. Sales are down, layoffs abound and the new Kindle will put everyone out of business. So why are some of our country's biggest douchebags still being offered huge book deal advances? Below, visit with notorious celebrities of recent history and the unfairness of life that allowed them to profit off of their misdeeds by writing about them.

Sarah Palin

What She's Done: Troopergate, cut funding for sexual education programs in Alaska, propagated racist hatemongering in the 2008 elections, spent $150,000 in GOP money on clothing for her and her family, used taxpayer money to fly her kids around. Was basically the worst example of women in politics. Ever.

What She Deserves: Hunted down by aerial plane.

How We Reward Her: A book deal that may pay upwards of $11 million and is being negotiated by Robert Barnett. Possible talk show also in the works. God forbid this lady becomes the next Oprah.

The Dating a Banker Anonymous Girls, Laney Crowell and Megan Petrus

What They've Done: Created a website for those poor young mistresses and girlfriends of rich Wall Street types who suddenly find themselves at wits' ends when their sugar daddies run out of funds. Had a Times profile piece which still didn't shed light on whether these girls are serious or not.

What They Deserve: 500 hours of community service, as well as being forced to actually get a job.

How We Reward Them: Book deal and possible TV series based around their plight. Are currently being vetted by United Artists' Jay Sures.

Bonus: Alexandra Penney, who got a book deal for blogging about losing her high-flying life and being forced to take the subway for the first time.

Nadya Suleman

What She's Done: Got pregnant. A lot. Birthed a litter. Ruined the desire to be Angelina Jolie for everyone and made our eyes burn with her pregnancy photos.

What She Deserves: Her tubes tied.

How We Reward Her: Donating to her website (which is already down), possible book and reality television deals.

Joe the Plumber

What He's Done: Asked Barack Obama a planted question. Became mascot of John McCain's failed 2008 presidential bid.

What He Deserves: A one-way trip to Iraq.

How We Reward Him: A trip to Israel, which is almost as good. (But as a reporter, which Joe is certainly not.) Also, an agent to field all those book deals he's being offered for being the personification of "layman."

Lynne Spears

What She's Done: Exploited her children for fame and money and turned their misfortunes into her own personal media circus.

What She Deserves: Too late for parenting classes, so we're thinking a jail sentence that involves solitary confinement and endless repetitions of her daughters' albums. Just like Gitmo.

How We Reward Her: Parenting book deal that was delayed when Jamie Lynn got pregnant, but inevitably got birthed around the same time as her granddaughter. Paid $1 million to share her daughter's tribulations with OK!.

Bonus: Michael Lohan and Dina Lohan with their fame-whoring and reality show, respectively.

George W. Bush

What He's Done: If you need to ask, you'll never know. Also, he is basically illiterate, which makes a book deal even more staggeringly inappropriate.

What He Deserves: Prosecuted for war crimes would be a good start.

How We Reward Him: Shopping around a book that will hopefully never get made, since most of America wants to forget this guy ever existed. But he'll probably score high seven- or low eight-figures.

Bonus: Wife Laura had no trouble getting Scribner to purchase her book for $1.6 million, because after eight years we finally want to see if at least one half of this couple has any insight.

Michael Gates Gill

What He's Done: Son of New Yorker writer Brendan Gill, Michael spent his trust fund on champagne and drugs, and when he couldn't hack it in the world of high-level advertising (a job his daddy got him, natch), he fell so low as to become a Starbucks barista. Shudder to think.

What He Deserves: Well, he basically got what he deserved.

How We Reward Him: Michael turned his story of one man's comeuppance into a smug memoir, How Starbucks Saved My Life: A Son of Privilege Learns to Live Like Everyone Else. Now Tom Hanks is making it into a movie. Barf.

Rod Blagojevich

What He's Done: Tried to sell Barack Obama's U.S. Senate seat to the highest bidder, used a lot of naughty words, tried to blackmail the Tribune.

What He Deserves: Impeachment (justice served!), a jail sentence.

How We Reward Him: Stalkers have placed Blago shopping a book idea around at Macmillan and Penguin. And unless he plans on writing a style guide on how to get perfectly coiffed hair, you can bet he's trying to sell the "I'm innocent!" line for cash and profit.