In honor of our look at America's history of loving the problems of the very wealthy, here, some of our least favorite celebrity complainers. Feel free to suggest anyone we've omitted.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck

Perhaps the most hawkish windbag on television today, Elisabeth Hasselbeck would be completely insufferable if she weren't so laughable and sad. Send her, her failed pro-football player husband, or one of her three children (once they're of age) to Iraq and we'll see how long she keeps up her warmongering. That would never happen, of course, because they're rich.

Jenny McCarthy

Last April, Jenny McCarthy took to Larry King Live to shout at a bunch of doctors about how childhood vaccinations cause autism. The doctors, with their stupid "medical research," tried everything in their power to assure McCarthy that she was wrong. To which she shouted, "Bullshit!" Twice. Now it's been discovered that the doctor who initially instigated the vaccination-autism link scare fudged his data, further making McCarthy seem like nothing more than a depressing ex-Playmate terrified of the unknown.

Professional Athletes

Awwwww. Tough day out their on the "gridiron"? Was all that jogging and playing glorified keep-away especially stressful? Well before you go blubbering to a bunch of reporters and telling them they're not being "fair," please, try to remember: you get payed tens of millions of dollars to PLAY A FUCKING GAME!

Dubya's Staff

Following Obama's inaugural address, the New York Times spoke with exiting Bush aides about their thoughts on the speech:

“There were a few sharp elbows that really rankled and I felt were not as magnanimous as the occasion called for,” Karen Hughes, a longtime Bush confidante, said in an interview. “He really missed an opportunity to be as big as the occasion was and, frankly, as gracious as President Bush was as he left office.”

Dan Bartlett, another top adviser, used similar language. “It was a missed opportunity to bring some of the president’s loyal supporters into the fold,” he said. Marc A. Thiessen, the chief White House speechwriter until this week, added: “It was an ungracious inaugural. It was pretty clear he was taking shots.”

It's not faiw to tawk mean about ouw pwesident, OK?

Ellen DeGeneres

We like Ellen, so our interest was piqued when she started her show one afternoon in late 2007 by immediately breaking into tears, saying things in her life were "so terribly wrong." What happened? Death in the family? Cancer diagnosis? Nope. A dog rescue group had repossessed a puppy Ellen had illegally given away when she decided she couldn't take care of it. A full-scale emotional assault, all because of a mutt named Iggy. The worst part is how protracted the saga became, with Ellen taking to her show and the papers to discuss it for days and days.