Elle* is a top fashion editor at one of New York's biggest consumer beauty magazines, which means she sits front row and goes backstage at any damn show she wants during Fashion Week. Sounds like a dream, right? Not when you've seen it all done before — in years that didn't end in "-ecession." So how did this FW compare to years past? Well, it doesn't. Herewith, our industry veteran spills all on Lindsay looking coked up, Justin Timberlake wasting cash, and WTF Rachel Zoe is doing with French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld.

JOSSIP: This wasn't your first time at Fashion Week, right? How does this year compare?

Elle: It does seem to lackluster, in people's attitudes. The shows are all shorter too, there are so many less looks going down the runway. A lot of the designers went "back to classics," all blacks and whites and browns. And tons of shoulder pads, which…why? Stuff that Anna Wintour hates when she's trying to shoot bright, happy girls kicking and smiling. And you went from getting Bumble & Bumble hair products and like designer jeans as schwag, to getting flyers and pamphlets.

Was there any egregious spending for the shows that you noticed, that didn't fit in the whole recession theme?

The Diesel show and the William Rast show had the big celebrities, Paris Hilton in the front row, Lindsay Lohan, Sam Ronson. Lindsay must be on Adderall or something, she's gotten so scary looking again. Maybe coke, I don't know. And there was a big after-party for this new magazine Arise at the Plaza. Grace Jones sang for the show itself. Otherwise, events were nothing great.

Were any of the shows so bad, like more than boring?

Oh god, Brian Reyes' models kept tripping on their heels…you just knew he was shitting himself backstage. And then, for the final walk, he made them all go out barefoot. At first I just felt bad for them, but they weren't even the attractive models. That's how you know if you're at a good designer's shows or not, because there are a hierarchy to the models, and if you're stuck with an ugly batch…

Ha! You mentioned Lindsay, were there any other celebrities that didn't look like they had their shit together?

I think Kate Bosworth had botox…and it was really weird to see Rachel Zoe getting photographed with Carine from French Vogue. You know, even a year ago Carine would never have allowed that, but now it's all about grabbing whatever attention you can. You know, just chum it up with anyone who could possibly help you.

What's sad is how much better dressed Rachel looks than Carine in that picture. What the hell is that jacket? It's like someone skinned one of those Tauntaums from The Empire Strike Back.

[laughs] That's why you're the writer.

There was just a huge piece on Carine's daughter being the new hot "it" girl…

Yeah, I know Julia. She is one of those girls who is your best friend whenever she's in town and wants to be all "Let's go drink Cosmos! Let's walk around Manhattan!"

Ugh, Sex in the City…

Exactly. And then when it's Fashion Week, she's only saying hello to people mommy would want her to. It's gross.

So on the one hand, you have people saying that this year is all about back to basics, and a sort of utilitarian, "classic" look that will always be wearable, and on the other hand you have the editor of French Vogue wearing a yeti outfit in the front row?

And what's crazy is, I saw that and even though it was hideous, I immediately thought, "I want one of those." It just looked really comfortable. And hideous. But yes, when you get down to it, Fashion Week is all about trying to convince you to buy that $400 vest. No one in the industry really wants to talk "recession," and the shows still had too many models. Donna Karan could have cut half the line, but it only went down about ten outfits from last season. Instead, they're trying to convince everyone else they are scaling back, so people will think the clothes will last longer, or will be in high demand because they represent this period of time in our culture that's so different from what we're used to. But it's still couture, so who do they think they're kidding?

*(Name changed)

(Photos via: Bauer Griffin, Getty, and WireImage)