"If I knew your company's address, I would not hesitate to send you a gigantic pile of my shit."

That was one of the more succinct responses we got to a Craigslist job posting we submitted last week, a classified ad promoting a reprehensible, thankless (and thankfully fake) media internship. It's also a good indicator of how most people replied. "I cannot underestimate how much I hope your penises get cut off in a tragic paper-cutter accident," said one. (We think she meant "overstate," but the point was clear.)

Nevertheless, not everyone was so dismissive. It is a recession, and several applicants were only happy to oblige our outrageous demands.

As our goal was to find out exactly what nonsense job-seekers will tolerate during such an awful time in media, we included everything we thought would make for a truly soul-crushing, cry-at-the-end-of-each-day type of office experience: a male boss who hates women or a female boss who hates herself, snobbishness, kids, manual labor and just a general feeling of doubt about the capabilities of others (perhaps that's also snobbishness).

In deference to those who didn't see it elsewhere, here's the ad in all its misogynistic, pretentious, rotten, French glory:

Wanted: Eager young man (or emotionally stable woman) to intern in an exceptionally fast-paced media office. We are a privately owned company that publishes both print and online properties, and we're in search of a bright person to shift between both. The intern will work directly beneath the editor-in-chief and must be willing to work at least 30 hours per week.

Qualified candidates will exhibit the following:

1. A reasonable phone manner. Not saccharine, but not bitchy. Able to command the respect of whomever is on the line.
2. A reasonable understanding of correspondence. Do you end e-mails with "Sincerely" or frequently use the term "LOL"? Not here you don't.
3. A healthy disdain for "the average." We'll put it this way: Don't talk to us about *The Hills*. Ever.
4. A willingness to perform light childcare. Not every day, but as needed, and with aplomb.
5. A unique tolerance for pressure. Please, no tears. It's grating.
6. Experience with French - *Parisian* French.
7. A presentable appearance. What's a "hoodie"?
8. The ability to lift light weights. Never more than 20 pounds.
9. A breadth of cultural knowledge, from Koolhaas to Kant to Klimt.
10. An ability to take direction. Simple enough.

Pay for this position is a $10 daily stipend, invaluable experience and the occasional byline. Opportunity move up quickly (6-12 months) to a staff editor position.

This job demands confidence and assertiveness. To apply, please send us an email with a CV and a brief description of a scenario in which you were "truly the best." We can't overstate this point: Contact us ONLY if you fulfill the above requirements. No phone calls.

We can't imagine the rage that welled up in people while reading that post. Just looking over it now, we were a little disgusted, and we wrote the atrocity.

As you might imagine, in New York, a city flush with empowered women, the sexism is what grated most respondents:

• "'Emotionally stable' woman? I forgot, has France discovered feminism yet?"

• "Is this a fucking joke? It’s so heinously misogynistic that it makes me want to puke."

• " Despite being female, I am very emotionally stable … I am very skilled at maintaining a pleasant demeanor amidst the scum of the earth, which is why I would work so well with you."

• "Not only is your posting for an internship pretentious and annoying, it implies that women, as a sex, are overly emotional or too emotionally unstable to handle what I'm sure is an awful, unpaid position at your company."

Those were great, this was not: "emotionally stable woman–OXYMORON." Which brings us to a little sidenote: In this day and age, where anyone's life story can be discovered with a simple Google search, you would not believe the shit people write to perfect strangers while using their real name and e-mail address. Here, we're specifically referencing the guy who said only a "sad faggot" could have written the ad. But we digress…

So who applied? Among the most notable were an Ivy League grad student, educated at three of the best schools North America has to offer; two polyglots, both of them women, who received their master's degrees at respected schools overseas; and a former Huffington Post editor (though we think she may have simply been fishing for a clue as to our identity). According to one applicant, "I … do indeed have a healthy disdain for the culture that the 'The Hills' stands metonymically for in your ad."

Examples of being "truly the best" were, unfortunately, mostly just stories about excelling in academia, not the swooping tales of violent upheaval for which we had hoped. Were we really seeking interns, points would have been docked for blandness.

At last count, we received far more threats than we did applicants, which we think speaks well of the job market, or media people–or perhaps it's a bit of both. Whatever the reason, it's nice to know that this horrible yoke of gloom currently burdening the Manhattan media world hasn't broken everyone's spirit enough to willfully accept this shit. And in all honesty, judging by their applications, we think the people who applied to this job would have applied to this job whether the market was good or bad. As the dominatrices say, some people are gluttons for punishment.

One final thing: although our posting was CLEARLY biased, nobody contacted us about illegal hiring practices. Kinda makes you wonder what the real assholes are getting away with.