Now that George W. Bush's work is done and the world is teetering on the brink of meltdown, he's decided to start on a speaking tour to share his broad and deep knowledge. Good idea! But where to go to bless the citizens with his encompassing light? We've got some ideas.
| The Organization | Why Dubya Should Speak Here | Substitute If Dubya Doesn't Show | |
 NRA |
The most powerful lobbying group in America. Also the shootinest motherfuckers around. | Rather than much stricter gun laws, when he was in office, Dubya recommended "character education" in schools as a way to prevent another Columbine. That's exactly the kind of crazy talk the NRA likes. | Dick Cheney. Everybody knows Cheney loves popping off rounds into his friends' faces. |
 Bob Jones University |
A South Carolina fundamentalist college that banned black students until 1971 and interracial dating until 2000 (yes, 2000). | While campaigning for president the first time, Dubya stopped at Bob Jones to speak before it had lifted the ban on interracial dating. The man knows his base. | Trent Lott, who once said that if segregationist Strom Thurmand had been president, America would be a better place. |
 American Family Association |
This nonprofit promotes "conservative Christian values." Which roughly translates to homophobia, genophobia and general cowardice. | Dubya's a born again himself, and Lord knows the gays ain't no friend of his. | Rick Warren, America's favorite homophobe. |
 AA |
The world's most famous alcoholic recovery group. | With all this newfound free time on his hands, we'd hate to see Dubya slip back into his old habits. He should be getting to meetings. And who knows, maybe his success story will inspire other blue blood, millionaire, Ivy League-educated drunks. | Scott Weiland? |
 Harvard |
An elite northeastern university. | Dubya's graduate alma mater! Why wouldn't they want him to come back and share his wisdom? What, has he done something wrong between 1975 and now? | If they can find him, Ghaith Pharaon. Harvard MBA graduate, fugitive from justice. |
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Since the election of Bar-rock don't-be-drawing-no-chimp Obama, the stock market has dropped 2000 points. There is your savior you dumb butts. Beating up Bush will not hide that truth.
Hell, Bush couldn't form a coherent sentence or pronounce common words during his entire presidency. He's just not real engaging as a speaker.
Oh, grendel. You know better.
Ah, George W. This moron couldn't speak English or put 2 coherent words together during his supreme court appointment and now he's going on a speaking tour! Goes to show how a blundering fool knows no bounds, he will continue to make as ass of himself and probably doesn't know how happy most people are to see him gone and how hopeful they are that the new legitimately elected President Obama will be able to clean up the wreckage he has left in our country and around the world. George W: Easily the worst, most destructive and disasterous president in American history. Just G O A W A Y George W…and take the rest of the Bush crime family with you.
i do not have the slightest idea what was in the minds of the american public when they elected this moron the first time, but to compound the crime, by sending him in for a second term,well that just beggars all belief but theres no point in reliving it. as far as fanofgrendel goes, do you honestly think the damage this fool did while in office can be fixed in a few weeks. bush was for sale to the highest bidder, big money loved him being there, so it was stuff the little bloke and full steam ahead for the high flyers, he was only a puppet for daddy and his mates to manipulate anyway. i completely agree with woody in every aspect of his comment but would also like to add that, in my opinion, and that of many other people in australia, there should be no speaking engagements in his future, he should simply be taken out against a brick wall and shot for crimes against his country, and u could probably throw rumsfeld in for good measure. this comment is in no way meant to bash the american people. politicians manage to lie to everyone. we had howard.
@rick taylor: See posts number 1. that is who elected Bush twice and would have elected him 10 more times before they would elect Barak Obama notice they feel the need to call him a monkey whenever possible. Luckily America is progressing and these people are slowly becoming the minority. Some of us just want our country to work we don't care about the hate.
re. get real.yes mate, i get youre point about no. 1 and i dont doubt that hes most likely to be in the minority. people are not going to go to the polls when theres nothing worth voting for but i believe the american people showed the world that they have had enough of being manipulated by the rich and powerful. youre declaration of independance and constitution are two of the finest civil rights documents ever conceived. the politicians should read them more often. black and white have a lot more in common than rich and white. maybe dubya will go on his speaking tour and his car will break down in a disenfranchised neighbourhood, now wouldnt that be poetic. and as for the chimp subject, george not only looks like one, he also acts the part!