thats not nice you dont know the situation! Im glad there back together! Its not as serious as everyone thinks it is!

Rihanna: You are an idiot. You are an embarrassment to abused women everywhere who would give anything to have the resources available to them that you have so they could escape their tormentors. Shame on you.

@ndfjkgnvfd.kb fdk: are u stupid? u must be stupid. yes, u're stupid. have u seen the pictures of her face? that's fucking serious my friend.

@bam-a-lam: i think that's a little harsh. the mind of a victim is different from that of anyone else, and so it's hard for her to just escape the way we'd like her to. I'm frustrated too, but i think being angry with her isn't helpful. I wish she would leave, b/c there are going to be girls who think "even rihanna's man does this, it's part of the way love works" which is false. but, she has to leave when she is ready, in her own time, else she won't be healed. victims must realize they are being abused before they can truly move forward.

also, David, I believe it was the grammys and not the oscars.

@rysanni: I'm not harsh. I've had experience in this area. I don't give a damn what her issues are. God knows she has any help she wants or needs at her disposal, including first rate therapy. I just wonder how much "love" she will have for him if her career takes a hit over this, and it should.

i think rihanna is usin chris and he was right ok
i wish deh wodnt get bac together

I completely agree Bam-A-Lam, although a personal situation, because of her place in the public sphere, she WILL become a figurehead for relationship abuse. People will look to her and make excuses for their own relationships. It's disgusting. And I can't imagine the public reaction, 'Rhianna and Chris work it out" etc, such things are not to be worked out! He violently assaulted her for christ's sake. For her to take him back puts this whole thing on a level of "whoopsie" and it's so much bigger than that. I agree Bam-A-Lam, you are being harsh, but it is totally necessary.

After all, how often is abuse visible? Isn't it possible he has grabbed her, pushed her, shown other violent behavior without anyone knowing? And isn't it possible it will continue without anyone knowing? If she shows she's willing to accpet it..well…she deserves harsh..

Whitney, you bet your bottom dollar this has happened before - only this time it got out of control. By now, she's learned how to push his buttons and push him right over the edge. She gets her feeling of power by being able to manipulate his anger; he gets his frustration out by beating the crap out of her. She ends up winning, because she's a woman.Now she's got the ultimate power trip happening, and is using her victim status in all the wrong ways. It's wrong on every level and I'm not buying for one second that Rihanna is too stupid to not know the difference between ok and not ok. She can just knock it off. If she actually does care about Chris, she needs to walk away for his benefit if not for hers.

@bam-a-lam: uhhh what? "by now, she's learned how to push his buttons and push him right over the edge. She gets her feeling of power by being able to manipulate his anger…"

U're joking right? Are u really saying that women who get ABUSED and then go back to their lovers do it because they get a sense of power from enraging their lovers? She gets a power trip because he ABUSED her? It's not a fucking power play; this guy PULVERIZED her. She is a victim. Victim blaming is fucking disgusting. Chris needs to learn how to not put his hands on people b/c his inability to control himself is HIS problem and not the result of anything she does. Wow, I'm truly disgusted by your comment.

@raysanni: spoken like a true non-victim. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then it's obvious you've never been in this situation. I'm not blaming the victim. I know what she's going through and it saddens me and I find it heartbreaking. Victims of abuse very often find that pushing buttons is the only power they do have, and sick as it sounds, they push those buttons. This isn't the first time Chris has hit her, I can assure you. She should never have bought into the whole cycle of abuse in the first place, but by sticking with him she is contributing to the cycle herself. And by being so public, we can all keep up. She's not stupid, she's misguided. And she's playing with the gates to hell. That's no place to play.

Get over your indignation. Save it for Chris Brown.

By the way, 99.9999% of abused women do not have bodyguards, limos to whisk them away, and unlimited funds at their disposal, so don't even try to compare her situation to all victims of abuse. That is insulting.

AND, knowing Chris B.'s anger issues first hand, Rihanna is capable of knowing they just may not be good for each other. Since she's on top right now, she can make the call and save both of them from each other.

I think what everyone is missing here is the fact that the music industry and important people therein want Chris Brown to come out on top. He's one of the very few artists who actually makes money for major labels right now. Rihanna has plenty of hit singles, but she hasn't made any real money yet (remember all those reports that she only had $20,000 in the bank?). Her label puts out hundreds of thousands of dollars on A&R, while Chris writes some of his own stuff and has headlined several tours.

Ultimately, Chris is better financially for the industry players than Rihanna is. It doesn't surprise me that Diddy is "helping" them right now. Ultimately, this is not a personal matter, it's a political one. She is probably under severe amounts of pressure from the industry to forgive him. I'd like it if we could keep this as a person matter and look at it the way we would any case of abuse, but it's just not that simple.

@Andrea: Well, that makes sense. I don't know how in heck they can make him look good after this. Looks like a case of damned if they do, and damned if they don't. Maybe the industry people should have been more careful with their "project" than they were. Starting to look like everybody's going to lose.

@bam-a-lam: aren't you awesome for assuming things about me and being completely off? i will not list the abuses i've suffered as though they are badges of honor in order to justify making comments on a blog, but i stand by everything i've said. it IS victim blaming when you say she manipulates his anger "to push his buttons and push him over the edge". It IS victim blaming when you say she's "got the ultimate power trip happening" and it is an egregious form of victim blaming when you say "she is using her victim status in all the wrong ways"! you act as if you know her, as if your experiences with abuse is exactly the same for everyone (and if you honestly believe that as a victim, as your comment suggests you have been, you did anything to manipulate someone into abusing you, i really hope you come to reconsider whatever such occurrence that was) when the reality of the situation is that u don't know her at all.

and what's this oppression olympics u're playing here? if she's well off, her victimhood is less legitimate? seriously? abuse has psychological effects on victims, and reminding someone they have money and resources doesn't change victim psychology.

and honestly, trying to string your comments together is fucking hard because i've never seen anything quite so contradictory in such quick succession. but please, continue, i hope u can work out ur conflicts her and come to the proper conclusion by the time u finish commenting this afternoon.

there. righteous indignation directed at the appropriate party.

@bam-a-lam:"bam-a-lam", isn't that Rihanna's nickname?
If girl ain't careful she gonna havta change her name to "MIA".

i'm happy they're back together, lets stop being so negative and pray and hope for the best. We don't know what happened or how they really felt. We ourselves are not perfect all sin is equal stop going on like you guys are God we are all guilty of doing wrong we should learn something from them, its called reconciliation. Chris is trying to become a better person for his and the woman he loves, sake. Everyone can change and he's making the effort and i'll continue praying for them .

We don't need to pray for them, she needs to leave him. Any man who hits his girlfriend can't love or care about her because when you truly love someone you would do everything in your power to protect them….not the opposite!

(If any of you are US citizens between the ages of 18-29 would you mind completing the following questionnaire?)

http://www.esurveyspro.com/Sur.....b756a15063

@kereen: i don't believe in god. am i allowed to think one act of wrongdoing is worse than another? because i think beating your girlfriend up is pretty bad.

This whole situation is disgusting from beginning to end, and the fact that the powers that be in the music industry are going to push a physically and psychologically damaged woman into a reconciliation (or at least the public appearance of one) is appalling. I hope nobody in the public falls for the quick-fix reconciliation, i.e., the one that's allegedly taking place as we write these comments. If this chick wants to get with this guy again, they're both going to have to separate for a lengthy period of time, deal with their issues (that goes for her too,) and then reunite with some serious conditions imposed on their relationship. But of course that would cost a lot of people a lot of money, and therefore, the bullshit machine employed by Chris Brown is busy strong arming its way into a quick and painless resolution.

Raysanni: Thank you for your comments. Though I didn't read the whole thing (it was long and somewhat tedious due to it consisting entirely of bitching at me and going over Abuse 101 for me - no offense but I already know that stuff), it does my heart good to know there are passionate advocates for women's rights, especially when those women are victims of assault by their boyfriends or husbands.

That being said, all I'll add is that there are different stages of abuse until it escalates a into full blown beating. During the course of it, certain dynamics are set into motion without either party being aware of what's happening and how un-reversable the dynamics will get. As the couple settle into their little bit dangerous, but nothing I can't handle, phase of the cycle they get fully comfortable with the parameters they have established thus far, through yelling (abject apology, easy to forgive) shoving (bit harder to forgive, requires more apology)(shoving, by the way, is 'haul you into jail for assault' in Tennessee - shout out Murfreesboro), punching (whoa! serious gift buying, possible space giving time), and so on. During this development of the abuse cycle the original dynamics of fight/makeup/forgive have become firmly established as normal behavior. Certain behaviors become part of each person as a means of coping with the situation. Resentment and anger settle into each person's regular set of feelings day and night and it affects how they interact with each other. They have to get away from each other and examine what behavior of theirs got them to that place - things like: how much crap was I willing to take before this happened? They realize they set the boundary way too far out there and learn to replace them with new, tighter boundaries. Push me? Oh HELL no, you got to go. It saves a lot of trouble, as Rihanna & Chris are walking proof of. They may find that an intimate relationship, for them, is not the best idea, no matter how they feel about each other. It's just that simple.

@bam-a-lam: haha i didn't write abuse 101 or bitch at you. i told you why your comments were victim blaming (which, indeed, they were) and pointed out how ridiculous and inconsistent you've been.

i never said rihanna should stay with chris– in fact, i said she should leave and that i'm frustrated with her for not leaving– but i just wanted to point out why it's not helpful to say "shame on you" when an victim of DV returns to the abuser. so while your final comment came around to the side of making sense (!!!), ur previous comments hadn't yet done so (yes, i did grant you that courtesy of reading your whole comment. i suspect that though you've stated otherwise, you read all of mine. i appreciate that small kindness).

@rysanni: thanks for your patience, and you know I read your whole post. The times I dealt with this there was no way out - no ride, no money, no place to go, nobody willing to get in the middle and help, etc. When you are running for your life, you don't waste thoughts on love. You can't, you need all your wits to stay alive. Having to hide has a hard emotional effect on a person - it reduces them to a rabbit. It also makes it difficult to see anyone with a way out who doesn't take it. Maybe if the police hadn't been called and she had just woke up alone and beaten, with no ride, and had to find her own way home alone, she would have had the chance to feel like a stray dog kicked to the curb. Then it might have had even more of an impact.

I knew she would go back to him…it's a vicious cycle and she is in major denial. A few little anger management sessions will not cure him overnight. I am sure they will be in the headlines again for the same problem in a few weeks. There are so many better men out there Ri so why are you going back for round two with this troubled dude. Move on and and away from this train wreck named Chris Brown.

first, if rihanna takes chris back then she deserves to be hit again… and again… and again. Most of the time the beatings dont stop but get worse until someone is dead. Hopefully for neither one of them that happens. Some women just feel (a lot of time because the man makes them believe that) that they need the other person so bad that they stay with them no matter what (ie tina turner). Second, i dont think chris is more marketable then rihanna. She has more billboard #1's, chris has never won a grammy, and she's sold more cd's (riaa.com) I believe (this is just my opinion) that chris is primarily only popular in the black community while rihanna has crossed over more (ie beyonce and Jayz ). And third, i agree that rihanna, for her career, should stand up for women all over. Do u think b would take that from j? of course not and thats why she has such a large female fan base because she stands for stong black women. Rihanna risks looking like a damn fool with no self esteem and songs like take a bow will no longer have any meaning to them

Shame on her? Um, first of all, we don't actually understand the situation. And, it's common for abuse victims to stay with their partners. Doesn't mean they deserve to be hit or anything. They should leave, but let's not start abusing her ourselves with cruel statements.
And, she suposively hit him and threw a cellphone at Brown before he got riled. It's not okay for him to hit her so much because of that, but it's not okay to fucking throw shit at your boyfriend either. Obviously what he did was worse but I'm just saying when you're provoked, you get a lesser charge.
Anyhow, how untalented are these two? I hope both of their careers die. Mediocre performers shouldn't get this much money and attention.

Lovely Brown will be back stinking up the airwaves…… Oh joy…

Rihanna should get a huge check if she has to hang out with this douche…

I have a private source confirming that Rihanna ate pizza last night. People.com can quote me on that. Its obviously true because it was posted on the internets.

To be honest, that's their business if they get back together.
That is on Rihanna and that is on Chris to get his good image back.
That is on them. That is their business.

She is an idiot.

@ndfjkgnvfd.kb fdk:
i agree!!! no one knows what happened, just let the truth come out on its own and then decide what youn think.
ps: i did always like them together :-D
pps: lmao to "source"…pizza? um ok, why does that matter…

It is sick to seen how many folks accept that men taking a swipe at a woman is forgiveable.

There is NOTHING that I would do to a man that would justify him raising a hand toward me, much less hitting me, without leaving the marks that ended up on her face.

What a sick, violent society.

@fiona: why would she go back to this guy. Nobody ever does it once and then stops.

no-one knows the real story, so everybody should keep their opionins to themselves.

@Unknown: what's the good of having an opinion if you have to keep it to yourself?

@jayson: jayson, your words may have been in jest, or an exaggeration to clarify your point, but it must be said:
Noone, NO. ONE. "deserves to be hit again… and again… and again."
Noone ever.

Chilvary isn't dead….women simply stopped requiring it. Why are so many women so desperate for a man that they are absolutely willing to trade both their dignity and self respect for some uneducated, immature, ill-mannered, low class piece of trash, that just happens to know how to dance??

I hope both these pisstards careers are over. Go live in a trailer somewhere and beat the fuck out of each other.

we women want to be at the top where the men are in charge and shit, we got their, taking all the punches strutting our stuff…no excuse for his abuse but stop going on like we are WEAK AND SPINELESS SUCK IT UP AND DISH THE SAME SHIT OUT…STOP THE WHINING AND TAKE THE PLACE WE ALWAYS WANTED!!! WE can learn to forgive and behave civilized and make changes and smart decisions

There's only one person who can save Rihanna now, and that's Judge Judy