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The 2008-2009 Torturous Heels Gallery
 

They seriously damage women's bodies, make young girls cry and ruin fashion shows, and yet, year after year, high heels continue to proliferate. This season, in fact, high heels are supposed to be higher than they've ever been. In honor of all of 2009's impending broken ankles, here's a gallery of our favorite of these fashionable torture devices known as high heels.

 

marc-jacobs-backward-heel
This fun little pair is by Marc Jacobs. Interestingly, many of the world's most painful women's shoes are designed by men who will never wear them. Coincidence?

 

antonioberardi
Antonio Berardi made these ridiculous shoes. Buy a pair and then pray that you never get chased.

 

jacobsheel
Marc Jacobs designed these, too. He must really hate women.

 

jil-sander-sandals-2
Here's the shoe that was hurting one model so badly that she started weeping while being forced to wear it. Isn't fashion faaaaaabulous?

 

reyesfallout
Designer Brian Reyes' shoes were so awful that models in his recent Fashion Week show took them off and continued down the runway barefoot.

 

yslmetalstrip
Just a thin metal strip connects the front sole of this YSL shoe to its heel, meaning if a woman doesn't step daintily enough, she'll definitely fall. CHIC!

 

mcqueenshoes
You can tell by the protruding veins and squashed skin that these Alexander McQueen heels must be so comfortable for Gwyneth.

 

poshshoesdm_468x395
Giambattista Valli is a favorite shoe designer of Victoria Beckham, mostly because Victoria loathes herself (as she should) and likes the punishment.

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Comments (45)

No. 1 · getreal

The last two are delicious! Guess you have to be a girl to understand.

Posted: Mar 3, 2009 at 2:12 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 2 · I don't think Bert and Ernie are gay... just looking for the right women.

I say this is all just a notch worse than asserting a woman who remains tremendously physically active while pregnant is upstaged by a vain woman who wears high heels while pregnant.

Posted: Mar 3, 2009 at 2:14 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 3 · I don't think Bert and Ernie are gay... just looking for the right women.

GetReal- Really? I just started wearing heels sometimes because I thought I was being fucking stubborn 'cause nice, respectful dudes like them occasionally, too. I like feminine clothes or whatever, but I hate heels so damn much. I'm really angry these days, but I do fucking hate heels. I feel so ugly in them.

Posted: Mar 3, 2009 at 2:18 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 4 · getreal

I love heels! That last pair Victoria has on I actually wanted but they were sold out everywhere. I'm still a bit sore about it (no pun intended)

Posted: Mar 3, 2009 at 3:13 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 5 · BmoreKate

Look, I love being a woman and I love wearing heels because I feel sexy and they make my ass look fantastic. But these are out of control. Anything that provides no arch (or heel for crying out loud) support or causes skeletal damage is just dumb and makes women look dumb for wearing them.

Posted: Mar 3, 2009 at 3:51 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 6 · maddej

the last pair are amazing. and after some practice and a lesson as to where it's appropriate to wear them (not to the city when your late-to a place where you are seated the majority of the time) there is no reason they can't be catagorized as reasonable.

Posted: Mar 3, 2009 at 9:34 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 7 · I don't think Bert and Ernie are gay... just looking for the right women.

But is it actually sexy to wear something that is unhealthy and painful just to look good? I guess it's fair if it's just sometimes. I'm still talking about normal heels. Plus, Amelie Poulain never wore any and she just plain rules.

Posted: Mar 3, 2009 at 11:18 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 8 · getreal

Well in LA we call these valet heels. They are only meant to be worn from the valet parking into the restaurant. So silly.

Posted: Mar 4, 2009 at 1:16 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 9 · Sebbe

Cord should have tested them out. 1 day each pair. Better him than me. LOL

Posted: Mar 4, 2009 at 8:40 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 10 · Penny

Love heels, hate the bunions they eventually give you.

Posted: Mar 4, 2009 at 8:53 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 11 · Jen

Torture. Pure, unadulterated torture. Obviously designers are either religious she-haters, as the article mentioned, or have extreme sadistic foot fetishes. Either prospect is not so good. Any chicks who say they'd "love!" to have a pair of these heels are straight-up lying.

Posted: Mar 4, 2009 at 3:58 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 12 · getreal

They only give you bunions if you walk in them like a farmer. My mom has been wearing sky high heels(she is a lawyer) since her teens she is now 57 and she doesn't have any bunions. If you walk in heels well and buy your correct size bunions are not a forgone conclusion.

@Jen: And I'm not lying. I would kill for a pair of those last ones. I live in LA and we love ridiculous heels at night and uggs during the day.

Posted: Mar 4, 2009 at 4:46 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 13 · Sebbe

@getreal - Uggs during the day?? That is sooo West Coast. You could never get away with that on the East Coast in the city.

Posted: Mar 4, 2009 at 7:13 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 14 · getreal

@Sebbe: It is very LA specific. It is so ugly but they feel so good!

Posted: Mar 4, 2009 at 7:37 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 15 · Sebbe

I just can't picture it in Manhattan or even Boston. Maybe D.C. - LOL

Posted: Mar 4, 2009 at 7:40 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 16 · Penny

No, I don't walk in them like a farmer. And who cares if your mother is a lawyer? You sound like an ass.

Posted: Mar 5, 2009 at 6:52 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 17 · Hamasara

I've been in NYC in the fall and winter and I live in DC. Uggs are a favorite on the East Coast. Not a favorite of mine. Not my style.

Posted: Mar 5, 2009 at 2:54 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 18 · getreal

@Penny: My point was career women wear heels too not just actresses. You are the one who looks like an ass if you didn't care you wouldn't have taken the time to post about it. And your name tells me how much you are worth a penny.

Posted: Mar 5, 2009 at 7:58 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 19 · getreal

@Penny: I guess if I had a dogs name and bunions I'd be mad too.

Posted: Mar 5, 2009 at 7:59 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 20 · Penny

Okay..LOL… intelligent comeback. If being a nasty bitch make you happy, have at it.

Posted: Mar 5, 2009 at 9:39 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 21 · getreal

@Penny: I thought it was funny myself.

Posted: Mar 5, 2009 at 9:59 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 22 · getreal

@Penny: Well I'm glad you thought it was intelligent just trying to give as good as I got. Toodles!

Posted: Mar 5, 2009 at 10:00 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 23 · Cheshire

What is wrong with these women? Honestly, when I'm looking at a woman the last thing I'm going to care about is her shoes. And if she's wearing these caricatures (or those stupid eskimo boots) I can pretty much guess that she's going to be an annoying, vain airhead…

Posted: Mar 6, 2009 at 12:28 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 24 · getreal

@Cheshire: Well maybe you shouldn't judge people based on their looks because that seems pretty air-headed and vain to me.

Posted: Mar 6, 2009 at 3:27 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 25 · Penny

@getreal: You are the kind of twit that can't just leave a comment about the story, you have to make snarky little remarks to other posters if they don't agree with you. Penny is a dogs name? My mommy is a lawyer? Am I talking with a 12 year old? Do you really think that is how intelligent adults talk? Your mentality is better suited for the kiddies over at Perez Hilton or TMZ.

Posted: Mar 6, 2009 at 8:43 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 26 · paddy

@penny - try giving your self righteous spiel somewere else love,this is the fucking internet where inevitably comments get turned into abusive torrents that serve only to make the person feel good hiding behind they're screen. your mentality is better suited for the cunts who constantly cry out in disbelief-"what is the world coming to." welcome to the real world of the internet penny. and thats exactly what your remark is worth. why don't we all just sling abuse at each other. it's what makes the internet great. i think get real makes a valid point. who are you to say he/she cant respond to the comment above. fucking internet nazi's like you are destroying the integrity of the western world. damn that feels good. rant at will next commentator.

Posted: Mar 6, 2009 at 6:23 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 27 · mark

Look,
heels look like shit! They are not natural and how in the hell can you expect a person to wear them all day what a bunch of crap. If you have no brains you'll wear them because you expect to look sexy, try round toe flats, they are more natural to the foot there more comfortable and most of the world wears them. don't try to improve no nature you can't win

Posted: Mar 6, 2009 at 6:23 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 28 · Penny

@paddy: Nice name change, twit.

Posted: Mar 7, 2009 at 9:36 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 29 · JANE

I cant wait to get my corns!

Posted: Mar 7, 2009 at 10:03 am · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 30 · getreal

@Penny: I didn't change my name someone else read your comment and saw how silly and presumptuous you are. You attacked my post and when I attacked back in the same way you boo-hooed.

Posted: Mar 8, 2009 at 11:29 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 31 · Penny

Whatever you say, airhead.

Posted: Mar 9, 2009 at 3:28 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 32 · getreal

@Penny: I guess if I had a dogs name and bunions I'd be mad too.

Posted: Mar 9, 2009 at 5:44 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 33 · Penny

Whatever you say airhead.

Posted: Mar 9, 2009 at 6:12 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 34 · getreal

@Penny: An image is forming in my head of a dowdy unattractive person who can't walk in heels so she has bunions. Calling me an airhead won't make you anymore attractive or your feet any less gross. I don't personally know the cure for bunions maybe consult your physician.

Posted: Mar 9, 2009 at 6:27 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 35 · Penny

@getreal: Your sophomoric retort shows your low I.Q. How eager you are to show you are a moron who can't think of something a little more original.

Posted: Mar 10, 2009 at 4:45 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 36 · getreal

@Penny: Your retorts sound like they were written by a 12 year old. Twit, airhead, nasty bitch, ass are we on a playground? The fact is your vapid judgmental comments and your whining when confronted speak volumes about you as a person. You can dish it out but you can't take it.

Posted: Mar 10, 2009 at 4:49 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 37 · Penny

Um, you are truly clueless. LOL.. Good luck, you will need it, bimbo.

Posted: Mar 10, 2009 at 5:02 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 38 · getreal

@Penny: I'm neither a bimbo or a jealous bitter person like you. Insult people on comment boards all you want it won't change the fact that you are a silly, frivolous, jealous person. Let's not forget all this started because in passing I mentioned my mother was a lawyer clearly you were threatened by that which made you call me an ass. I guess your mother is a short order cook.

Posted: Mar 10, 2009 at 5:07 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 39 · Penny

Wrong. You started this by refering to me as a hick (farmer) who doesn't know how to walk in heels. Reread, honey. Then you tried to defend your rude nonsense by spouting some crap about actresses and lawyers. (?) I work for J. Renee shoes in Chicago in research and development. Bunions have nothing to do with how you walk. The bones in your foot are predispositioned for them and wearing tight, small shoes also aid in forming them. A bunion is simply a bone that juts out farther than normal. But, none of this matters. Your response was childish and all of them since just show how immature you are.

Posted: Mar 10, 2009 at 5:17 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 40 · getreal

@Penny: Well if they are so immature (as opposed to your statesman like comments twit and airhead) why do you keep trying to dialogue with me. If they are immature move on. You can't that is why you are catty and you would rather make nasty comments to other women than do anything positive with your life. Let's see if you can put your money where your mouth is if this is immature stop dialoging.

Posted: Mar 10, 2009 at 5:25 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 41 · Penny

Grow up, honey.

Posted: Mar 10, 2009 at 5:40 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 42 · getreal

@Penny: That's what I thought sad, jealous bitter person. Keep up the cattiness doesn't change how depressing it must be working for a shoe company in chicago researching bunions and athlete's foot gross! What a glamorous job! LOL

Posted: Mar 10, 2009 at 5:44 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 43 · Penny

Well, it's better than being a dumb cunt like you with Nancy Grace for a mother.

Posted: Mar 10, 2009 at 6:48 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 44 · getreal

Classy!

Posted: Mar 10, 2009 at 6:49 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
No. 45 · harvey

Manolo Blahnik designed the sky-high heels for Brian Reyes. They were fabulous.

Posted: Mar 13, 2009 at 4:02 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]
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