Terrible people get into marketing, so it makes sense that terrible things come out of marketing. Thanks to Bad Men doing poor jobs at soulless companies, this week misogyny ran rampant.

Our grandfather used to say, "Always start with a pussy joke," so, by God, that's what we're gonna do:

In case the subtlety lost any of you ladies: When you're on your period, put a Kotex on your beaver when you go to sleep. Got it? Nice to know the ad industry is opening its doors to vulgar 7th grade boys.

And speaking of marketing's systematic digs at the female form, how about this picture:

It's from the Nordstrom catalog, and it's a pretty obvious attempt to turn a woman into a giraffe using Photoshop. Because even models are so disgusting in real life that they need to be manipulated into freakish, elongated nightmares of beauty.

Still not ready to disembark from the misogyny train? Alright, then how about this print spot from a Belgian biodegradable cosmetics line:

The point here is that you don't have to be a disgusting, hippie lesbo like the hideous beast on the left (and so many liberal arts coeds) to care about the environment; you can totally reconcile your love for nature with your hate for your natural looks. Environmentalism just got fuckable!

In news not about hating women, this week Skittles launched its very first social networking site, designed for people so sad that they log onto highly branded Web sites to talk to their Internet friends about commercial goods. Fun!

And what language should commercial boobs speak when speaking to their commercial boob friends on some obnoxious commercial Internet destination? Snacklish, fool! Jesus, do we ever wish we were kidding:

Snacklish is a humorous way of speaking that revises everyday words and phrases for a Snickers-centric world. To underscore their origin, they are printed in the typeface and colors of the Snickers brand logo.

For instance, the basketball great Patrick Ewing becomes Patrick Chewing. Combine the rapper Master P with the peanut, a main ingredient of Snickers, and he turns into Master P-nut — perhaps a hip-hop relation of the Planters brand mascot, Mr. Peanut.

New York Times scribe Stuart Elliot, who apparently finds Snacklish "humorous," was only happy to dive right into the moronic patois:

The possibilities are endless. You could someday, perhaps, read a Snacklish version of this article that quotes Caramel Walker, written by Chewart Elliott for The Nougat York Times.

Considering how quickly the Times cozied up to corporate donors in the past, we can believe it. Time for you to cross your fingers and hope Mars, Inc. never has to bail you out, Chewart!

One more thing to ruin your day: none of these idiotic commercials are ever going away, because not only is our economy inextricably attached to them at this point, so are you.