Welcome to "What America Wants," in which we dissect the box office grosses for the weekend to ascertain what everyone in this great country is in desperate need of this week.

Race to Witch Mountain

This Disney vehicle starring Dwayne Johnson (he's apparently matured beyond "The Rock") booted Watchmen from the top spot by earning $25 million in its debut weekend Strangely, 18 percent of the people who saw this movie were couples without children.

Conclusion: Sorry, comic book nerds, but kids and adults who love movies starring kids (creepy!) are a more solid demographic than aging comic fans obsessed with a niche title. Now go cry to your message boards.

Watchmen

Not even a sad plea from the film's screenwriter could save this movie from a 67 percent drop in ticket sales. Thought it came in second, it wasn't there by much.

Conclusion: Much like Dr. Manhattan's penis, perhaps this movie was simply too ambitious and too long.

Last House on the Left

A Wes Craven remake, LHotL follows a married couple out to get revenge on the sadists who brutally raped and tortured their daughter. Delightful!

Conclusion: Violent revenge themes never go out of style. What that says about human beings is up to you.

Taken

This violent revenge-themed thriller continues to clean up at the box office, taking in another $6.7 million and putting its total gross profit at $127 million.

Conclusion: Kill! Kill! Kill!

Madea Goes to Jail

The black-man-in-a-dress shtick keeps going and going and going as Madea Goes to Jail shakes$5.1 million out of people who enjoy this sort of thing.

Conclusion: Tyler Perry is the devil and he's bewitched millions into believing his Bible humor is worth paying money to see. He must be stopped.