It's St. Patrick's Day. And because we've long since distilled the entire rich, literate, tenacious Irish culture into a single shot glass of brown liquor, here's a bunch of funny/sad videos of famous drunks. Erin Go Bragh!

Let's start off with the saddest of the bunch: David Hasselhoff wasted, shirtless and making a mess of a cheeseburger as his daughter films him to remind him how he is when he drinks. "Family movies" takes on a whole new meaning in Hollywood.

A tiny, drunk, condescending man regaling a moronic coffee klatsch with his ideas on government and tales of boozy revelry? The perfect antidote for that sad-ass Hasselhoff vid.

Fascistic French President Nicolas Sarkozy has said in the past that he doesn't drink alcohol, though perhaps he made an exception at his June 2007 meeting with Vladimir Putin, which immediately preceded this press conference. That grin hides a secret, Sarko!

I'll take "Vulgar Boozer" for $2000, Alex? You can take the game show host out of Canada, land of the drunken hoser, but…

Depending on your moral compass, it's either fantastic or horribly sad that one can't really be sure if eccentric, maniacal sex machine James Brown is wasted in this video. We say it's fantastic.

Modern SAT question: Assuming his weight was 350 pounds and the tipple he's hawking is 12 percent alcohol, how many takes of this commercial shoot did it take to get Orson Welles this shitfaced?

God bless Tracy Morgan for continuing to blur the line between his real self and his batshit, substance abusing 30 Rock character, Tracy Jordan. Get 'em pregnant, Trace.