Of course you hate The CW, you're an intelligent person with friends and a family who cares for you, and you don't put Velveeta on everything. Chillingly, there are some people who love that spider hole/television channel, specifically all the out of work actresses it eventually gets around to employing. God help them and the way they slink over to that station like battered wives. God help them all.

Shannen Doherty

While the WB's Charmed was a huge, unexpected success, Shannen Doherty, diva that she is, abandoned the show well before its expiration date due to creative differences. After leaving the witch dramedy at the end of its third season, the former Heather was soon starring in things like Hell on Heels: The Battle of Mary Kay and Christmas Caper. Lucky for Doherty, the debut of 90210 last year offered her an opportunity to reprise her role as the kindhearted Brenda Walsh, making this the third time she's starred in some Aaron Spelling piece of crap. But hey: steady work!

Tyra Banks

Without the CW and its predecessor, UPN, Tyra Banks would have been just another washed-up bikini model by now. While we'd have been fine with that, we're sure Banks prefers having things this way—with her ruining the women's movement at night, on her modeling show, while also attempting to empower women during the day, on her talk show (sample episode title: "Soccer Moms, Weekend Strippers"). Nobody ever said the CW doesn't go both ways.

Kelly Rutherford

We suppose it's better to forever be known as "that one lady who plays the mom on Gossip Girl" than to never be known at all. Well done, Ms. Rutherford.

Jennie Garth

Much like Shannen Doherty, after Beverly Hills, 90210 went off the air, it was likely Jennie Garth would spend the rest of her career doing cheap TV movies and crappy comedies with laugh tracks and Dan Cortes, human laugh track. Then came the new 90210 to rescue Garth from the absolute depths. Maybe now she can afford a better website.

Mischa Barton

It must have been tough to be a child of the OC, heralded by the nation as a new generation of Hollywood royalty only to be dropped like a hot brick the moment the show plummeted from the ratings. Though she left the California-centric drama early to pursue a film career, Barton, pummeled by the cruel realities of Hollywood, has come crawling back to the genre she abandoned years ago, signing up to play a model on the CW's new pilot, Beautiful Life. They always come back.