Jeremy Piven, Still On Goddamn Sushi Kick
 

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Jeremy Piven is being forced to an arbitration hearing over this whole Speed-the-Plow sushi mess — which means he'll have to figure out a way to squeeze out some more crocodile tears — but the Entourage star isn't too worried. He's practically giddy about it. Says his official press statement:

"Mr. Piven is looking forward to testifying in Arbitration along with his doctors so that the truth comes out about the very serious health risks caused by Mercury exposure, which the Obama administration has recently described as the world's gravest chemical problem."

Hey, quick pro tip: Nothing screams "asshole" like saying you're looking forward to going to court and then invoking our president as your defense.

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