It's a sad day when Mario Lavandeira is at the center of Page Six's lead gossip item, but that was the case this Independence Day. Graciously recycled from Mario/Perez Hilton's own website, picture it: Stereo, Friday night. Mario holding court over his own banquette when Entertainment Tonight reporter-slash-MTV VJ-slash-Nick Lachey girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo and her entourage plop down next to him. Vanessa hits the dance floor. "Total cocksucker" Tyson Beckford gets up in her shit, unwelcomed. Mario The Protector intervenes, words (but not punches) are thrown down. If it weren't for Stereo owner Mike Satsky breaking up the fight, we'd have one bruised Cuban, one screaming VJ, and one escorted actor. And while we would have preferred that scenario much more, the real disappointment is that amid all the photos of Mario and Vanessa, there's not one of Taye's antics. Let down.

BEASTLY BEHAVIOR IN CHELSEA [Page Six]
Vanessa Speaks! [Perez Hilton]