Those well-intentioned souls over at New York magazine have created a helpful guide to help you plan ahead for New Year's Eve in Times Square. However, in their haste to spread the word, we're afraid they may have accidentally omitted a pointer or two, thereby neglecting to include some potentially relevant info.

So, in the interest of avoiding any potential confusion down the line, we humbly submit these excerpts from the NY Mag guide, along with our (minor) edits and addendums.

They say: "Chairs, tents, and space heaters are not allowed, so dress warm and wear comfortable shoes.
We say: Ditch the Uggs, and bring on the whiskey. Nothing puts a little warmth in your belly like a flask chock full of Jack Daniel's. Drink enough, and the overweight Japanese tourist with the fanny-pack will start looking pre-tty darn good around midnight.

They say: "There will be no food vendors in the pens, but some restaurants will deliver to you on the street, including Ray’s Original Pizza (212-974-9381) and Sbarro (212-768-4194)."
We say: Who can think about pizza when you're smack in the middle of call-girl central? As much as we dig having the "411" on the local burrito joint, how about giving us something we can actually use, like, say, the digits for a medium to high-end escort service?

They say: "Some people line up a day ahead, but there's no reason to show up much before 4:30 p.m."
We say: 4:30 p.m. and you've got nothing better to do than stand on a street corner in Times Square? Who are you, our mom? Seriously, there are plenty of decent bars to hit, and you owe it to yourself to drink yourself into a complete stupor. Only then can you can fully appreciate the splendor, (nay, the thrill!) of a gigantic spherical apparatus, dropping at the speed of molasses.

They say: "All bags will be searched for alcohol and weapons, and anything found will be confiscated."
We say: If you get into any trouble, just break into a fake epileptic seizure and blame it on the neon lights. (It always works for us).

Now get out there, you crazy kids, and go find someone to make out with smack in the middle of a freezing, drunken mob!