In addition to fighting obesity (while simultaneously whoring herself out to Dunkin' Donuts) Rachael Ray has had to contend with a streak of nasty rumors insinuating that her marriage—like her recipe for peach margaritas—is on the rocks.

Fortunately, Us Weekly gets to the bottom of things, by asking Rachael point blank, whether everything is copacetic in the House of Ray.

US: What do you say to those awful rumors about you and John divorcing?
RR:I don’t care. I still get to go home to my handsome hubby every night. I mean how dumb would I be to lose that one?

US: What do you mean?
RR: I mean, he's a lawyer, he cooks and he’s a rock star. Is there anything missing? I don’t think so!

Wed don't think so, either! Unless, of course, by "anything" Rachel means "a monogamous relationship with someone who doesn't have a bizarre and highly publicized sexual fetish."