American Gladiators' Juiced Up Claims
Outlandish advertising

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January's return of American Gladiators on NBC was supposed a signal a sea change of American television viewer interest: Sitcoms out, reality competitions in! Actually, Gladiators' arrival wasn't so much a sea change as a recognition, or a last ditch effort to turn the tide, that very little is pulling in the mega ratings these days. The show had the bonus effect, though, of employing former porn stars (semi-NSFW), and if there's one cause we can get behind … well. But you know what Gladiators, a supposedly steroid-free show, also did? It made outlandish, possibly illegal claims about its stars! At least one inquiring (blog) mind wants to know how NBC gets away with naming Gladiators things like "Venom," for whom "there is no known antidote for Venom" and is "lethal in any dose." Did the suits test this girl in a lab?

Television Without Pity asks the hard questions about the Lycra-clad muscle men and women responsible for keeping you from crossing through the Gauntlet.

Justice

We get it: Justice has "a very long arm," like the long arm of the law, and "the scales always tip in his favor," like the scales of justice. Funny. But just because he's got a pretty good reach and weighs almost 300 pounds, that doesn’t make what he does justice. If we could punish our criminals by pulling them off a climbing wall into a swimming pool or hitting them with giant foam mittens, our legal system would be a lot less crowded and a lot more fun to watch. Also, we doubt that Justice would actually "pursue his adversary to the ends of the earth." Maybe to the end of the Skytrack…

Recommended Alternate Names: Mo'hawk, Wedgehead, Buff Enough

Jul 1, 2008 · Link · 1 Response
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  • Comments (1)

    No. 1 fkessy says:

    He is my favorite. Just saw his personals ID on millionaires personals site """""M e e t i n g W e a l t h y.c o m"""""" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site.
    ?☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆???☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

    Posted: Jul 2, 2008 at 5:20 am
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