The unthinkable (and yet, highly plausible) has happened. The American people have officially lost interest in the long, drawn out and extremely uncomfortable process of watching politicians from both parties reduced to shamelessly pandering for votes.

Reports The Onion:

Though initially excited about making universal health care a reality and putting an end to the Iraq war, the American people appeared visibly worn down after only three months of campaigning. According to Beltway observers, idealism among Americans began to fade after the first series of major televised debates in August, during which every citizen in every state realized they would have to compromise their core values in order to remain in the race.

Factors including intense media coverage of seemingly trivial issues, destructive partisan bickering, and the relentless exploitation of 9/11 only seemed to further discourage Americans from making it to Election Day.

Alright, fine, the article is meant to be satirical and none of this has actually happened…yet. But you have to admit, for at least a second or two, you thought (or at least hoped) this was one of those rare times when The Onion was actually playing it straight. Besides, when you really consider it, stubbornly refusing to participate is actually far less weird than readily pledging your vote to comedian Stephen Colbert.