Andrea Peyser is not happy. Well, not that she ever is happy, but today she is freakin’ livid. Like pissed off. At Madonna, of all people. The least controversial subject in the universe. She is angry because the material media whore went and grabbed up a baby from Africa … a baby who had a family and didn’t really need hers. Except for the whole money thing.

Days ago, she lined up 12 African boys - tots hand-selected for her perusal. She picked out a 1-year-old, David, to take home in her luggage.

Well guess what? The boy selected in this freakish slave auction is no AIDS orphan. He’s got a biological father, plus a granny - but was placed in an orphanage after his mother died. His family loves him. They just can’t afford him.

If Madonna possessed a speck of sanity or shame, she would write a generous check. Instead, the boy’s father says he is thrilled at the prospect of a wealthy American carting off his progeny.

Madonna should nail herself on her crucifix - for real, this time.

Uhh, what? Did Peyser really just say that? We get that what Madonna did was a pretty shallow publicity stunt … we don’t even have a problem with Peyser calling her a whore. But when she starts suggestions celebrities kill themselves via means of sacrificial religious ceremonies, we have to draw the line.

SHAMELESS STAR BUYS AN AFRICAN SOUVENIR [Andrea Peyser, New York Post]