Two of the trashiest brands in fashion are squaring off in a courtroom battle bound to be extremely sad and incredibly shameful.

The tarty Juicy Couture is suing rival Victoria's Secret over the lingerie queen's Pink line, whose bottom garments are very often emblazoned with the word "Pink" directly on the ass. And there's the problem, but not for the reason any rational person would think. Juicy alleges that Victoria's Secret is profiting from its ingenuity, claiming it was plastering the adjective "Juicy" on the behinds of lonely, comfy ladies years before Pink was making the same mistake.

In their lawsuit, Juicy says it wants all Pink clothes with writing on the bums destroyed and millions upon millions of dollars in damages. Victoria's Secret is keeping mum. We think they're both juicy, pink idiots and love that this whole scuffle is a tacit admission that a women who wants people to stare at her ass has no loyalty when it comes to reaching that end (and probably none when she gets there, either).