Time goes by so fast! It's only Wednesday, and yet it seems already so much has happened. TMZ overlord Harvey Levin is arguably having the Best Week Ever, propelled by the continuing success of his rumor-mongering website and the (disconcerting) news that his new mudslinging tv series leads the ratings in syndication.

But who's having the worst? That would be senator Barack Obama, who's been dealt not one, but two difficult blows over the past 48 hours.

Blow the first? Obama girl (the lip syncer-slash-actress "famous" for brandishing her Obama underpants (and for traumatizing Barack's 6 year-old daughter by 'trying to replace mommy') gets picked up by a network. Yay! Granted, it's an online startup, but it's headed up by the former vice-chair at MTV. Which, conceivably, explains his questionable taste in music.

Blow the second? Obama discovered that his long lost relative is none other than…vice president Dick Cheney! Apparently the two are eighth cousins, which practically makes them blood brothers! This somber development was treated with appropriate decorum by his spokesman, who quipped, "Obviously, Dick Cheney is sort of the black sheep of the family."

Although Cheney has yet to issue a formal response, an exuberant Mary Cheney was overheard to exclaim, "Hooray! So this is what it feels like not to be the most embarrassing member of the family!"