• Lindsay Lohan's new boyfriend is less than pleased that his ex-girlfriend (ex-fiancee??) sold her story to the National Enquirer. So displeased, in fact, that he has lots of misspelled words, hastily typed profanities and grammatically incorrect things to say about it!

• Sadly, Riley "Scary Eyes" Giles will probably deal with his ex's betrayal by taking a shitload of prescription medications. That he prescribed himself.

• Who wants to be the next Ozzy Osbourne? Apparently, everyone!

• Russell Crowe doesn't want his sons acting. Presumably because he's afraid it will turn them into self-important douchebags who cheat on their wives.

• Sorry, pervs. Summer Roberts (fine, Rachel Bilson) is way too classy to show you her "Britney."