• Heidi Klum shares the heartwarming story of how she fell in love at first sight…with Seal's tightly spandexed package. Awww, that totally explains why their lovenest is plastered with naked family portraits!

• In light of their new movie's disastrous box office showing, Reese and Jake are officially back "together."

• Steve Martin is writing a book for children. Also of note: "Children" is Martin's all-inclusive word for non-New Yorker subscribers.

• Larry Craig is reportedly using campaign donations to foot his legal bills. Naturally, constituents are outraged! But mainly over the whole "closeted gay" thing.

• Justin Timberlake proves he can chug beers with the best of them, then sends his assistant out to track down some Beano.

• Playboy's elite Photoshopping team prepares for their ultimate challenge: Kim Kardashian's oversized rump.