• Nicole Richie joins everyone over the age of 13 in making fun of Lizzy McGuire.

• As the FBI's case against maybe-rapist David Copperfield grows stronger with every passing day, fellow illusionist Criss Angel is totally on the verge of conceding that his wand-toting rival just might be the Creepiest Magician Of Them All.

• Halle Berry attempts to divert attention away from her "Jewish people have funny noses" gaffe by waving her disconcertingly large boobs in everyone's faces.

• Meanwhile, we keep hearing all this talk about Christina Aguilera's "twins." Come on, people. Is that really any way to refer to a pregnant lady's funbags?

• And since we're on the subject, this didn't make our day, but it just might make yours! That is, assuming you have nothing better to do than look at old pictures of Christina Ricci's (a.k.a. Wednesday Adams') nipples.

• The author of "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" explains how marrying a closeted homosexual (and now openly gay Jamaican) wasn't actually part of her original plan.

[Image via WireImage]