• Jerkass Russell Crowe mortifies Leo DiCaprio by sharing a rather unfortunate memory. Says Crowe: "You know, I worked with Leonardo when he was 17 on ‘The Quick and the Dead [1995]. He was a virgin, and he’d talk about that constantly." Thanks, guy!

• Tori Spelling and her hubby (whose name we can never remember) get all gussied up for Halloween. Tori's a witch, obvs, and her husband (Sean?) has apparently decided to go as K-Fed. The accidental lovechild looks ecstatic.

• Benicio Del Toro is a natural for the leading role of The Wolf Man remake, not to be confused with Teen Wolf, and definitely not to be confused with "sexy."

• Petra Nemcova endeavors to save the children; ends up scaring them away with her giant breasts instead.

• Have you heard? Jessica Alba's got this new thing where she only hangs out with people who look EXACTLY like Jessica Alba.