• Breaking: Paris Hilton reportedly told Nicole Richie, "I want a baby so that our babies can play together.’" And by "play together," we're assuming she means "share a coke dealer and periodically pretend-fight to stir up publicity for their trashy reality tv show." Allegedly.

• Oh no! "Geri Halliwell is being forced to leave her 18-month-old daughter Bluebell at home while she and the other Spice Girls prepare to kick off their world tour in Vancouver on Sunday." Either that or she's just, you know, voluntarily putting her own fledgling singing career ahead of her baby's needs.

• Did Jennifer Aniston go under the knife? And, if so, why? After all, doesn't she know she's nothing but hair?

• Meanwhile, Reese Witherspoon is officially the highest paid actress in Hollywood. And yet, somehow, not a single cent has gone into a chin reduction. Weird!

• Ladies and gentlemen, Marissa Cooper…like you've never seen her before.