• Paula Abdul to write a self-help book for teens. Publishing insiders expect the result to be "straight-up crappy."

• Celebrities continue to disappoint with boring, unimaginative baby names.

• Beyonce shows off the best bikini bod that money—and an appointment with Dr. 90210—can buy.

• 50's housewife Katie "Thunderthighs" Holmes hits the beach with her suddenly ubiquitous daughter, Suri.

• David Beckham celebrates Real Madrid's league championship by spending the evening with his wife's breast implants.