• You know what's even worse than doing time in L.A. County prison? Having everyone in the world find out that you used to bang Jack Osbourne. While sober. Before he got thin.

• The sands of time have not been kind to Steven Tyler. Or his man-boobs.

• Kristin Cavallari shows up to the Yellow premiere wearing a dress made of holiday wrapping paper. Don't laugh, it's totally happened to you.

• Fergie scandalously flashes her clothed ass at the MuchMusic awards. Remind us exactly what Josh Duhamel sees in this woman?

• Hayden Panettierre pulls a Greg Brady, gets frisky with her television parental unit.