• Eddie Murphy is officially a deadbeat dad, and an ass. Except we already knew that.

• Isaiah Washington claims "they fired the wrong guy," prompting ABC executives to say, "Oh my God, he's right. We never realized until he just said that! (Pause.) We're kidding, of course."

• Are we the only ones who think Pamela Anderson's way too old to be parading around in a skintight silver bathing suit? We'll take that deafening silence as a "yes."

• Elisha Cuthbert continues to be inconsistently sexy.

• British people are pissed to discover that Bridget Jones is actually an emaciated Hollywood actress.