• Madonna and Cher share Pride in an transparent effort to cater to their primarily gay fanbase (including Madge's baby daddy!) Related: Experts attribute Cher's difficulty in smiling due to a countless number of Botox procedures and a puzzling inability to accept her daughter's lesbianism.

• No matter how many slutty off-the-shoulder tops she wears, Britney Spears can't seem to keep her nipples away from the paparazzi.

• First, Michael Moore gets booted from Larry King Live in favor of Paris. Now, he's getting slammed by PETA. Hehe. Fatty.

• Interview? What interview? Paris will receive $1 million to teach a 1-hour class at the Learning Annex entitled "I Can't Believe I Slept With Jack Osbourne."

• Elisha Cuthbert gets confused, forgets to remove her giant orange arm-floaties after exiting the pool.