• From Dlisted: "You all know how much I love this alien, but if I hear "ella ella ella" one more time I'm going to fuck someone in the ass with an umbrella."

• Paris Hilton votes in last year's presidential election. Or not.

• Meanwhile, Paris pisses off the gods of fashion with a heinous "onesie," who punish her (and us) with an uncensored A-cup photo montage.

• Before finding work as baby-catcher to the rich and famous, Britney Spears' manny reportedly earned a living "operating a sex toy and porn Web site."

• Unfazed, Brit does her best Lil' Kim impression.