• Famous people have it so hard! It's like, once you're a pop star trainwreck, you can't even so much as impulsively strip down to your bra and undies in the middle of broad daylight without attracting the completely unwanted attention of those nosy paparazzi life-ruiners. Seriously! Just let them live their lives, people.

• Nick Nolte, like you've only seen him once or twice before: drunk as a skunk, and possibly living in an airport.

• Awwww, David Arquette clearly has no problem with carrying wife Courteney Cox's purse. Or picking up her feminine hygiene products for her at the local drugstore. Or wearing her panties when he knows she's not around.

• Paris Hilton subjects a poor, innocent doggie to the pain/humiliation of ending up on Hollywood's "Worst Dressed" list.

• Marc Anthony unconvincingly tries to depict JLo as being some sort of a low-maintenance domestic goddess. Ironically, we haven't seen acting this bad since, well, Monster-in-Law.