• Jessica Alba dumps Cash Warren in the most subtle, sensitive and respectful way she knows how: by calling him up, telling him "I'm not in love with you anymore" and having one of her assistants (there's more than one, apparently!) pack up all his shit and move it out of their house.

• I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry opens the (back) door to lots of hilarious gay jokes, plus inspires artists to ask themselves what really happens when comic books meet unattractive homoerotic porn.

• Meanwhile, here's Adam Sandler on the set of his "hairdresser/Israeli spy movie." From the sound of it, a must-see!

• Beyonce Knowles sat on a wall, Beyonce Knowles had a really great fall. And all the king's horses and all the king's men. Signed onto YouTube so they could watch it again.

• Paris Hilton gives Cisco Adler a lap-dance after apparently misunderstanding a girlfriend who nudged her and said "that guy's family jewels are, like, enormous!"

• Tom and Katie caught bumping and grinding on the dance floor at the Beckham's "Welcome to America" party. Apparently, Cruise really does likes that old-time rock n' roll! Either that, or he's just totally feigning interest in his Stepford wife in an effort to make us forget they're both members of a crazy religious cult.