• Justin Timberlake is apparently "in love" with Jessica Biel. Probably because she has an inordinately large ass heart.

• Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich and his wife give birth to future douche, Bryce Thadeus Ulrich-Nielsen.

• A year ago in gossip, everything was…exactly the same.

• Lindsay Lohan has announced plans to start working on new urban crap pop album.

• Model Petra Nemcova has gone from surviving a tsunami to shagging singer James Blunt and accidentally exposing her left nipple.