• Mariah Carey reminds us why grown women and oversized cocktail napkins don't mix.

• At 47, actor Sean Penn is still strangely attractive. Especially considering he only plays twisted serial killers, perverts and pedophiles.

• Actress Charlize Theron is back to doing what she does best, namely: giving Oscar-caliber performances of ugly people beset by internal conflict.

• Note to Fergie: If you insist on continually singing lip-syncing along to "G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S," you might want to rethink the purple mom-jeans.

• Non-famous reality alum to inexplicably appear on Celebrity Apprentice. Or, as Stereohyped puts it, "Omarosa Returns To The Show That Made Her Marginally Famous." Indeed.

• Ironically, it took being thrown into a Utah rehab center for Lindsay Lohan to have some semblance of a normal life.