• Child Welfare Services deems Britney Spears to be a fit mother. Related: Hell freezes over.

• Keira Knightley's toilet-paper dress falls down, which is strange since you'd think her jutting collarbone would have held it up a little better.

• Meanwhile, Mariah Carey reminds us that a girl can boost her bust the old fashion way: gaining thirty or forty pounds.

• Brad Pitt says he maintains a deep friendship with Jennifer Aniston. In fact, the connection is so deep it's more of the unspoken/nonexistent kind.

• Amy Winehouse loses the coveted Mercury Prize (Album of the Year) award to musicians who don't spend their free time freebasing and scratching the fuck out of their husband's face.