• Mariah Carey's career called. It wants some semblance of life back.

• Everyone's in such an uproar over Da Silvano's rodent problem these days it's as though they've lost track of what really matters: the food sucks, and it's horribly overpriced.

• Since when did Ryan Gosling start dressing like someone we used to beat up in high school?

• If you think Vanessa Hudgen's naked photo was hot, just wait 'till you see her holiday wish-list.

• In keeping with the tradition that only "ugly" people win Oscars, we've got a prediction for this year's Academy Awards: Joaquin Phoenix, all the way.