• We can't tell if Lindsay Lohan is paying tribute to O.J. Simpson or merely foreshadowing the remainder of her twenties.

• Meanwhile, can someone please explain to us how a guy best-known for his role as "Pacey" on Dawson's Creek that kid with the hot mom in The Mighty Ducks managed to shack up with Troy hottie Diane Kruger?

• Equally puzzling: Why Jessica Simpson continues to dress like her character in cinematic abortion Dukes of Hazzard.

• Britney Spears might lose custody of her kids. And no, this has nothing to do with those death-threats K-Fed's (allegedly) been receiving. At least, we don't think it does.

• Finally, it's a sad day for the tabloids when even Paris Hilton admits she's above "all this artificial crap people talk about."