• Tyra Banks awkwardly molests Rosie on The View. And you thought Oprah was generous!

• Amateur sleuths travel back in time to show us what Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood looked like in high school. Though, in the case of Wood, it's less like "traveling through time" and more like "thinking back to a week ago."

• Meanwhile, People takes us back to a simpler time, when celebrities were just spoiled, whiny babies. Oh, wait.

• Alright, we don't like Hilary Duff's music anymore than you do. But we're still sorry to hear that she has a crazy, murderous stalker.

• Sanjaya's mom gets busted for growing marijuana. Which kind of explains why she kept smiling and encouraging that uber-talented son of hers.

• Pamela Anderson is single-handedly bringing boring. orange one-pieces back.