In breaking unsubstantiated gossip, we're hearing that first daughter Jenna Bush is about to be secretly engaged to her longterm boyfriend (and onetime Karl Rove intern, Henry Hager). And, according to our tipster, you heard it here first, "even before the paparazzi breaks it!" Here's more about Jenna's (unconfirmed) weekend plans:

Jenna Bush is getting engaged this weekend…Henry Hager is on spring break and in South America visiting Jenna. His parents are coming this weekend and the Bushes' will be finishing up their South America tour and joining on their way back for the weekend….They want to get married on the ranch in Texas….can you imagine the security at that event?

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Screw the security, we're far too busy imagining the open bar! After all, Jenna always was the "wild child" of the Bush clan, and given her highly publicized drinking track record (which inspired such unforgettable headlines as "Jenna And Tonic") we can only hope they have enough free booze to satisfy Babs, W and the entire state of Texas. And after those freeflowing nuptials, we'll wager that George H. W. Bush won't be the only family member with a bad case of dehydration the next morning.

Let us be the first to wish you congratulations, Jenna. It seems like only yesterday that you were dirty-dancing with Fabian Basabe and now, suddenly, you're a buxom author on the eve of her (secret!) engagement.

Sunrise, sunset…