Bridget Moynahan's Wide-Set Vagina Gives Birth To The Lovechild Tom Brady Never Wanted
Related: It's A...Paycheck!
After a short 11-month gestation period, Tom Brady's ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan finally gives birth to a beautiful (out-of-wedlock) baby boy. No word on the official name yet, but we hear Moynahan's rejected the early favorite, "Bastard," and is said to be torn between the more direct "Alimony For Life," and the appropriately understated "Cha-ching!!"
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The lovechild Tom Brady never wanted? Why didn't he suit up with some latex formal wear before practicing his baby-making skills with a chick he was about to dump?
It takes two to make a baby, but only one to prevent it.