MTV had its Video Music Awards last night and yeah, Michael Phelps was there though no one knows quite why he was asked to present. And freaky scarecrow sex-man Russell Brand hosted though no one knows quite what he was doing there, either.

Oh well, the real story here is about Britney Spears and her triumphant return to the stage after last year's debacle where the once tween queen appeared overweight and on the verge of mental and physical collapse.

This year Britney looked fine and healthy (if a bit wooden on the dialogue, but a Lexapro/Wellbutrin cocktail will do that to you), though the same couldn't be said about the show's audience, unfortunately:

Well now you know why they usually keep the lights out during awards shows, because there appears to be fewer people filling the seats than a Wheel of Fortune taping. It's just that one you expect MTV's premiere event to be somehow…bigger? Who are these people in the audience?

Certainly not celebrities, who were too exhausted from getting stalked via MTV's Skycam and GPS arrival monitoring and getting snapped on the red carpet by the "citizen paparazzi" (lucky contest winners who didn't realize they were part of a Verizon Wireless marketing gimmick) to participate in anymore of MTV's ever-lamer ratings stunts.

Anyhow, here's the liveblog, for masochistic reliving purposes.